Learning Through Experience

Mind your language!

2011-04-14T18:12:00.004+01:00

Does swearing make us more credible? According to some recent research in Holland, this may be true. The researchers asked students to read a fictional account of a statement made by a suspect burglar during a police interview. Students who read the version in which the suspect swore rated his statement as more believable than those who read a version that was identical in every respect but with the swearwords removed.
However, the research seems flawed to me. To remove the swearwords, but otherwise leave it intact would inevitably change the way it is perceived. I wonder whether it might have been a fairer comparison had the swear words been replaced by other adjectives, especially emotive ones.
Surely it depends on the context and your audience. The use of expletives can, of course add to a statement’s impact, but would that make it acceptable or effective in a business presentation. I doubt it.
Swearing certainly has a negative impact on some people, especially when used excessively – I have observed people who missed much of the message because they were so offended by the unnecessary use of profanities. This is partly a cultural phenomenon, with older people more likely to be upset by coarse language. Swearing is more common in younger people, but also may depend on where you are from.
I know in my military career, swearing was quite commonplace, but also selective. It was used extensively when at work, largely irrespective of rank, but significantly reduced when in social situations, especially when women were present. With women more widely integrated in the forces, I wonder how this has changed and fear that they have come to accept and adopt the swearing, as seems to be the case in factory environments.
I once heard a quote that said something like: “Swearing is a means by which the inarticulate gain a feeling of eloquence.” I do swear, but try to limit it, especially in business situations. To me it seems unprofessional and unnecessary. As in my quote, if I want to emphasise something, I should be able to find more appropriate and expressive words, which will not cause offence or detract from the message. Did Martin Luther King, Kennedy, Churchill or any other great orator resort to swearing. Certainly not. We might not expect eloquence and may understand emotional outbursts from sports men and women in the heat of competition, but nor should we have to accept foul language. In business, we may want to encourage and express passion and commitment, but should be able to do so without offending our audience.

Incidentally, personality research suggests that people who swear more, not surprisingly, score higher on traits such as extraversion, dominance, and hostility.

And finally... According to a disturbing news report today, a British tourist on holiday in Dubai was arrested for swearing. He was later ´badly beaten up´ to the point of being unconscious, slammed against a concrete wall, refused food, water, and a lawyer, and then his body was stuffed into a body bag while being removed from the facility.

All Change - From Snowdon to the Amazon

2010-08-09T15:45:00.008+01:00

I am again talking about change and how it affects us. I remember being horrified that Jaguar had produced a diesel variant, and then an estate version – that is not a Jaguar, I screamed! This week I read that they have laid a tarmac path to the summit of Mount Snowdon in Wales, to make it more accessible, why, why, why? Then again, there is already a railway up there and you can still do it the hard way if you want to (I know I do!)

Much is written about change and our reactions to it. I have been working recently with Royal Mail, who are undergoing a huge amount of change, some would say not before time. Much of the focus on the workshops was on debating and preparing for how people would react to change with considerable emphasis on those who would resist and even attempt to forestall the new ways of working. Of course not everyone is against change, indeed, many of the managers we were working with were positive and even excited about the opportunities that the changes promise. They also reported that many of their people, including union representatives were supportive of the changes.

This does not, of course mean that these champions and advocates are immune to the emotional upheavals common to resistors. They need at least the same consideration, support and encouragement as they will have doubts, concerns and even reversals. They will feel any setbacks or lack of progress acutely. If not suitably nurtured and recognised they may even defect to the nay-sayers.

My younger daughter has just completed her degree and is somewhat relieved that the academic ordeal is over and looking forward eagerly to starting her career. However, even change coming from success presents some challenges. She is now finding that it is not easy to secure a job, which frustrates her ambition and dampens her enthusiasm. Moving back into the family home means she has had to readjust to different norms and standards than those she has become accustomed to; her close circle of friends is dispersed to the four winds and all but lost, despite or maybe exacerbated by the apparent ease of maintaining contact provided by Facebook and email. So lots of changes all brought about by something she wanted deeply and worked hard to achieve. The euphoria and relief of graduation have been tempered with self-doubt and frustration.

Remember that denial and a range of emotion will precede the rationalisation needed for acceptance and commitment to the change, sometimes captured as the mnemonic DERAC. To help people through these stages we need to show that we understand and are willing to offer the support they need. (I remember these stages by reversing the letters and trying to show I CARED.)

A common piece of advice is to beware of spending too much time with the relatively small number of vocal resistors and instead to work with the undecided waverers, who usually form a quieter majority and if converted can provide the critical mass needed for success. Although this thinking is logical, I sound a note of caution. If your focus is too closely on those people, you may neglect your erstwhile allies and fail to recognise important signals of discontent. If you lose your champions, the struggle will be considerably greater to convert the rest.

Spare a thought for Ed Stafford, the intrepid former soldier who has just completed a marathon 4,000 mile trek to walk the length of the Amazon in 859 days. I am sure he is exultant at his record breaking achievement and relieved to have completed it. However, he will now face huge new challenges in adjusting to “normal” life again and without his goal to focus on.

So it is for my daughter and for those managers in Royal Mail, change is an inevitable part of life and careers, but it does exact a toll. Understanding and support from friends, colleagues and managers will help them all to cope.

A change, though can be as good as a rest. So for something different, have a look at http://www.recyclethis.co.uk/ for tips on recycling everything from old wall planners to empty walnut shells!

Changing Times Call for New Perspectives and Challenging the Rules

2010-04-05T15:31:00.005+01:00

Change, we are often told, is inevitable, unavoidable and should be embraced by leaders. Change, though is not just organisational, it is also social and as leaders we need to recognise and appreciate all its manifestations.

A great friend of mine, in his seventies and a military man is exasperated when he sees young men enter a building or room while wearing a hat. In his day this was completely taboo and considered rude. The offenders are more likely to be ignorant of this tradition rather than rebellious or intentionally disrespectful.
Another friend berates the younger members of the rugby team he coaches for not phoning him with their availability, preferring instead to communicate through Facebook.

I read recently of people “tweeting” each other during a presentation. Normally I would consider anyone using their mobile phones during a presentation as rude and inconsiderate, but are these just new norms and am I in danger of becoming as curmudgeonly as my aforementioned friends? Looking at this in another way, it offers a new way to interact with your audience
The etiquette of social media is evolving rapidly as is this new way of interacting with people. Organisations are trying to come to terms with it, writing rules to avoid the worst potential consequences, but this is not easy. I read last week of a police force that had issued a 7,000 word document outlining acceptable email practice, the size of which may reflect the complexity of the subject, but also inhibits the likelihood of anybody reading it, let alone complying with it. Sites like Facebook are a potential minefield as they are very public, but the traps are avoidable if you use common sense and sensitivity, providing a powerful new communication tool.

Etiquette is peculiar to generations and to cultures. Globalisation, multi-culturalism and foreign travel all expose us to different practices and standards, occasionally causing confusion and offence, but also delight, wonder and appreciation. I remember being fascinated in Hong Kong by the local tradition of burning money and laying out food on graves to honour deceased ancestors. This was all the more intriguing when the money was revealed as “hell money” – akin to Monopoly money and the food was retrieved and enjoyed by the family once the ancestors had chosen not to partake!
When abroad it is tempting and generally a good idea to adopt the local customs – when in Rome – but you can still stay true to your self. You don’t have to use the mixed sauna if you find it embarrassing, no matter how much pressure from your host.
On a recent course with students on an international Masters programme at Nottingham Business School, we were treated, on top of Mam Tor in snowy Derbyshire to songs in several different languages – three of them were to the tune of “Frère Jaques” but were about tigers and butterflies. A wonderful demonstration that in many ways we are as alike as we are different.

When is it correct to bow, when to shake hands, when to hug and when to kiss cheeks? Should emails contain greetings, and polite sign offs? I believe that leaders help to set standards, but not by being stubborn, change resistant or aloof. Leaders should look to set an example, but also to be sensitive to others’ preferences, upbringing and habits, and maybe even embracing the new way. Challenge different behaviour and standards if it bothers you, but more to appreciate why they do things as they do. Remember Stephen Covey’s 5th Habit of Highly Effective People – “Seek first to understand and then to be understood.”

Nature or Nurture – Barbie and Action Man

2010-01-09T20:28:00.008Z

I was amused and a little exasperated to hear that a couple of Mums have formed a pressure group, called “Pinkstinks,” objecting to what they see as the stereotyping of young girls by toy manufacturers who colour their toys in shades of pink. I believe that many girls like pink of their own accord and it does not adversely affect them in any way.

My eldest daughter liked and still likes pink, has many pink accessories and will almost certainly dress her daughters accordingly. I accept that we bought her pink things, Barbie dolls and My Little Pony, but we also bought her matchbox cars and took her to watch rugby matches. She is now a primary school teacher, which might be taken as proof of the stereotype, but would be blatantly unfair to that profession. Moreover, she spends most of her free time rock climbing and leads international expeditions to remote mountain regions - hardly a helpless girl!

Stade Francais, five time winners of the French Rugby Union Championship are anything but effeminate, almost as well known for their racy calendars and they wear a very shocking pink!

My son did not have Barbie dolls, but did play with Action Man, as I did (still dolls, really) and he has always liked black much more than pink. He is sometimes reluctant to get out of bed, especially to go to school, and I have questioned his resolve, which has prompted him to say it is easy for me because I was a marine. I know I should not read too much into this, it is just Dad-Son banter. However, I have reflected on the fact that his protest is back to front. I was a Royal Marine, am proud of the fact and gained a huge amount of experience and self respect, but did the marines make me what I am or did being who I am help me through the Commando course? The truth is surely a little of both. The unfairness of the jibes at my son is regularly proven when he happily gets up very early to go beating for the local shoot or for a rugby match!

Being dressed in pink or being bored by stories of how hard life was for somebody else may influence our view of life, but it will only be as powerful as we allow it to be. Yes, parents need to be balanced in how they bring up their children; boys can benefit from knowing how to cook, iron and sew as much as girls. It is also useful if girls can wire a plug or change a tyre, but the colour of their toys will not decide which of these skills they most enjoy using.

This is a lesson not just for parents, but applies as much to teachers, coaches and especially managers. For the child, pupil or employee, don’t blame others for how you are or how you live your life, recognise that we are the sum of all our god given gifts and the experiences we have enjoyed or endured, it is then up to us how we interpret and use them – we all have choices every day. Making your own choice and accepting the consequences is the key to personal growth and success.

Stalin and the Stranglers

2009-10-09T13:20:00.007+01:00

Two radio news items captured my attention today and the Stranglers sang “No More Heroes” as I started to type this, which seemed fitting.

The first news item was an interview with the UK managing director of Lego, who told us that the company name Lego was coined by Christiansen from the Danish phrase “leg godt”, which means "play well". The name could also be interpreted as Latin for "I put together", though this may be a somewhat forced application of the general sense "I collect; I gather; I learn"; the word is most used in the derived sense "I read". Close enough for me, deserves to be true! Lego is certainly a great toy for helping children to learn.

The second was an interview with Stalin’s grandson, who was stoutly defending his reputation and honour. This put me in mind of a theme I have explored in a number of training sessions, where I have asked people to identify major influences in their lives – both positive and negative, or “Heroes and Villains.” This can be useful when we analyse how much influence we take or allow from these people, and how valuable or limiting this can be to our personal development.

One personal example could be Dean Richards, who I admired hugely as a rugby player in the 1980’s, but who has recently been pilloried for his involvement in rugby’s “bloodgate” episode. I do not approve of what he has done, indeed I find it indefensible, but this does not mean that I have to rewrite my memories or re-evaluate my admiration for his leadership and skill on the rugby field. Other sporting heroes have been caught stretching the rules, including Neil Back, Michael Atherton and Maradonna.

How many people refused to believe scandals involving Michael Jackson, because they loved his music, performances and public persona?
This works equally well for those we dislike as well as those we admire. I always thought of David Beckham as a prima donna of the worst kind, but was genuinely impressed by his maturity and inspiration as England captain.

Sometimes we can take these influences even further. During my military career I met Paddy Ashdown, himself an ex-Royal Marine and then a Member of Parliament, but I felt snubbed by him, and developed a strong dislike of him. I then found myself dismissing all statements from the party he went on to lead, just because I identified them with him – not a very rational or useful attitude.

I also resent the way some people revisit the life stories of historical figures and unfairly re-assess their character against the morals, values and experience of our own times. That is not to condone or justify evil or selfish acts, but I feel we should recognise that things were different then. I am still awed by the bravery of the likes of Scott, Nelson and Lawrence – all possibly flawed in some way, but still deserving of their hero status. Similarly, Mao and Stalin surely deserve their reputations as despots, but had some good personal qualities.

I think it can be very inspiring to have heroes or role models, but it doesn’t have to mean we admire and try to emulate all their traits. We need to be selective and recognise that they may be admirable, but are not always perfect. We can then make intelligent choices about what behaviours to learn and which to avoid. These role models may not be celebrities or even well known, they may just be exemplars from our own life or work. Most people can identify their best boss and their worst. Are there traits from the best to avoid and even some from the worst, which could help make us better bosses?

Don't Knock It Until You've tried It

2009-08-18T14:36:00.003+01:00

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. Douglas Adams, Last Chance to See

An article in the Guardian caught my eye and furrowed my brow this week, as it denigrated the benefits of positive thinking. In particular, it took to task “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill, the self-help book from the 1930s, and a bestseller ever since. This reminded me of so many instances where people, in print or in person denounce ideas and philosophies without fully understanding or testing them. It seems that too many people are looking for the easy way, the quick fix or the shortcut to health, wealth and happiness.
I have heard people ridicule and demonise all sorts of things, claiming that they don’t work or are a matter of luck. More often than not, the people who make the most noise about them have never read the book, never tried the technique or given the method chance to work. I am thinking of those who condemned the Atkins diet, when only following a small selection of the recommendations; or those who pour scorn on the Law of Attraction without following all of the steps in the formula. I even read a piece in a magazine declaring that brainstorming doesn’t work, but deep in the summary it admitted that it only didn’t work if the process was not followed correctly.

Both Hill and Stephen Covey invoke natural law, calling it the law of gender or the law of the farm – some things, most things happen when they are ready. Seeds take time to germinate and grow, bread dough needs time to rise, successful farmers only harvest when the crop is ready, and many of these ideas will work, but only if we use them correctly and give them enough time to work.
Of course I am, on occasion as guilty as others. I scoff at fad diets, believing it better to change your diet rather than “go on a diet”. However, I know people who have found diets that have worked for them, so good luck to them. Six months of nothing but Guinness and bananas will not be to everyone’s taste, but it helped a rugby friend to lose a lot of weight! We all have different experiences, and all learn differently from them, but do avoid condemning new – or old – ideas until you have tried them, or at least read the book! I have read these books and have doubts about some of their claims, and am sure nobody can become thin, rich or famous just by wishing for it, but thinking positively about your goals and ambitions is an important step to success in any field.

Mixed Messages and Training in Hard Times

2009-06-30T15:32:00.003+01:00

I recently volunteered to help someone deliver a short presentation to some colleagues from a trainers’ network I participate in. It seemed an easy way to fulfill the commitment to contribute that I, and everyone else made when we first met. It then transpired that I had misread the email and had inadvertently put my hand up to running the second session of the evening. Serves me right really, I was avoiding my agreed share of responsibility for keeping the group dynamic and participative.

This happened the day before I ran a workshop on effective communication, so was a useful reminder that I am far from perfect, even if I know a lot of the theory! Then in the last week or so I have read a bewildering amount of conflicting views about the current economic transition, the government’s plans and woes and about the current state of the learning and development market. A few headlines that caught my eye include:

According to an Institute of Directors survey, in a bid to fight recession 80% of directors say their organisations have maintained or increased their training budgets over the past six months.
Another survey announced that training is a casualty of the cutbacks and employee skills levels are suffering with almost a third of European workers in jobs they are not properly trained for because of recession cutbacks.
Yet another claims that employers are delivering less training with almost all posting a year-on-year decline despite employee enthusiasm for professional development.
Only 15% of employees totally trust their manager meaning 85% are in doubt about some information they receive from higher up the organisation.
Employees are being kept in the dark about their employers' business performance, with 28% being told nothing about business health and one in 20 discouraged from asking questions.
Oh and the ban in Glasgow on showing the Monty Python movie “Life of Brian” is ended after 30 years.

Whatever the rights and wrongs of the stories, rather like my faux pas with volunteering, it serves as a useful reminder that communication is incredibly important and incredibly easy to mess up. It also illustrates that there are two sides to every story.

One of the best pieces of advice in communication I have ever found comes from Abe Wagner, who urges us to “Say It Straight Or You’ll Show It Crooked.”* How often do we try to dress something up or disguise our true intentions and yet people see through it. Honesty really is the best policy and the road to hell is paved with good intentions, so tell it how it is. Good advice for politicians, managers, trainers, parents and everybody else! I only hope that the IOD are right – but I would say that, wouldn’t I!

*Abe’s book of the same name explores the behaviours and concepts behind this simple rule and is highly recommended.

Life Lessons from Gandhi and Clint Eastwood

2009-03-18T08:57:00.003Z

I have read a lot in the last week or so about people and blame. We have had political leaders apologising, refusing to apologise, blaming others or global forces for problems. We have even had Josef Fritzl blaming his mother for the abhorrent crimes against his family.

And then I was directed to an article in the Times, condemning all “management” theories as irrelevant and blaming them for organisations ills.

This all takes me back to a central tenet of my personal philosophy, which is best summed up as the first of Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, which is to be proactive. Covey’s definition of this term takes it back to the fundamental premise of taking responsibility for yourself, your life and your actions, past, present and future – a strong theme from Transactional Analysis, which is another good old theory. This was well put by Abe Wagner, my favourite TA tutor, who advised us to “Be self determining and help others to do the same.”

I believe that if we do that, which frees our minds and our spirit. it then becomes much easier to be effective and successful. You are not hot tempered because you are Irish or have red hair or because your Dad was like that. Life and personality are based on choices - choices about acceptance and direction. No-one else is to blame, and certainly not a theory, which is only someone’s attempt to describe or explain their experience of how life has been for them. How you interpret and live that theory is your responsibility.

We can all learn from experience, whether it is our own or someone else’s, which is why we like to read or watch biographies and in a shorter version, peoples quotes.

As Mahatma Gandhi said: “Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”

Or as Clint Eastwood puts it: “Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both firmly under your belt, that's real power.”

So I need to “make my day”, not wait for some punk to do it for me! We should all learn to learn from and through experience.

Which Words Are You Afraid Of?

2009-01-30T17:33:00.002Z

Are these the Five Scariest Words?

Yes, I Can and I Will: These can be the scariest words in the English language because once said they define your commitment. For example, “I will attend the meeting,” or “I can commit to coming to rugby training every week,” or “Yes, I will help you on Saturday’s project.”

They are the “I’ll Make It Happen” words. These five words say you are willing to take responsibility and be held accountable for the successful completion of a task. For example, when you say "Yes, I’ll have the report done by Friday” you have stepped forward and made a commitment.
Commitments can be scary to many people, but they don’t have to be. At first, make commitments to accomplish tasks that you are confident you will succeed in. Then build on those successes with commitments that stretch your capabilities. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when needed. The skills you learn from your accomplishments will help you throughout your life.

Suggestions for implementation:
1.Count the number of times in a week that you use the “I’ll Make It Happen” words: Yes, I can or I will.
2.Have fun seeing who in the team (or family) can use these five words the most during a week.
3.Once a team member has made a commitment to do something by using the yes, I can or I will words, help him or her to be successful with the project.
4.Reinforce the importance of these words to your team.

Zen Teachings for the 21st Century?

2009-01-15T10:19:00.002Z

OK, this is one I've seen versions of before and was sent to me by a very good friend, (Thanks, Tim) intending to be funny and politically incorrect. However, there are many truths in these and some that fit the blog title and aims very well - you can decide which they are.

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just **** off and leave me alone.

2. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

3. No one is listening until you fart.

4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

7. Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

10. If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.

11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

12. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the wind screen.

13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

14. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and most of that comes from bad judgment.

15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass ...then things just get worse.

20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Coaching Tips from the Rugby pitch

2009-01-06T12:50:00.002Z

Those who know me will be aware that my great passion away from work is rugby. In this posting I want to cross fertilise from rugby to management development. (It probably went the other way first, to be honest.) I picked up the following from a rugby coaching website. I had intended to rewrite it, but it needs little translation - just substitute learners for players etc.:

* The Magnificent Seven *

How great questioning can lead to great learning
By Peter Tann, qualified rugby coach and sports psychologist

By getting your players to answer key questions, you will help them to learn from training sessions. You may also find willing and able sources of help and innovative ideas.

1. Plan
Plan meaningful questions for the training session ahead. You should:

Consider the nature of the task and the players' willingness to contribute to it.
Write your questions down.
Make sure your questions are appropriate for your players' levels of knowledge and understanding

2. Don't Give the Answer

Avoid giving your players the answer. This takes ownership of the problem-solving and decision-making process away from them.
There will be times when you have to intervene - but that's why you are the coach!
In which case, try to quickly revert back to encouraging the players to come to their own conclusions.

3. Draw-out a Response

Give your players time to think about a problem. You will find they will tend to respond more frequently and with more meaningful and valid responses.
This can be a difficult technique for coaches to learn, however. To give the players time to answer a question, you can:
Listen to a response without repeating it.
Give players time to think in silence.
Avoid demanding an answer from a specific player immediately after asking a question. Note that once you've identified a player to answer, the others may tend to "relax" and stop thinking.
Avoid "Yes, but..." reactions to a player's answer. These can indicate a rejection of the player's ideas and may make them less likely to contribute in the future.

4. Use Positive Reinforcement

Positive reinforcement is far more likely to motivate players to respond enthusiastically and appropriately to future questions.
So praise players for their contributions, even if you think they still have a long way to go.
To effectively reinforce an answer you can: Praise the answer. For instance, "That's a really interesting idea. Well done! Can you tell us how you came up with it?"
Be honest and sincere with praise.
Also use non-verbal praise, such as smiles, eye contact, thumbs up, etc.
Avoid lots of "Uh-huh", "Yep/Yeah" or "Okay" comments. These can indicate disinterest in the answer being given.

5. Prompts

Use prompts to remind players about previous learning. For example, a coach might ask a player a question about their mental coping strategies, whilst asking them about how they have been dealing with errors.
You might say, "How did you react after you gave away that penalty for hands in the ruck? Think about the mental skills we discussed last week."

6. Question Evenly

Consciously direct questions so all your players have the opportunity to contribute.
Even if a player is initially reluctant, considerate questioning by the coach can enable them to grow in confidence and participate.

7. Independent Observation

Ask someone to observe and evaluate your use of questions.

That last one takes some courage, but is a useful tip.

Good Advice from High Flying Leaders

2009-01-06T11:43:00.003Z

Reading this morning's papers I came across some good advice from two high flyers from the aviation industry.

Firstly a wonderful piece from Barbara Cassani, former head of Go Fly budget airline, where she shared some tips on success, para-phrased here:

It’s people that make a business fly....

Break down the hierarchy
Avoid double talk - Be open with staff.
Encourage people to try things. Everyone makes mistakes but we reacted quickly and didn’t spend a lot of time pointing fingers or blaming people.
Pick a good team of people and “not people who were like me”
Recognise your own weaknesses and limitations and account for that.
Make the time to visit employees, factories, shops or offices, schedule into diaries three months ahead.
Say thanks to staff. It’s easy, cheap and makes a massive difference.

The other was my old shipmate and everybody's favourite business character, Richard Branson who said "Almost everything I've learned, I've learned by doing" - More support for experiential learning!

And Just for Fun ..... You may have seen the TV advert, but do visit: http://www.comparethemeerkat.com/

New Year Resolutions - Goal Setting

2009-01-04T11:56:00.004Z

Happy New Year,

At this time of year, it is common for people to make resolutions about the future. The mental health charity, Mind warns against this, saying that resolutions which focus on issues such as the need to lose weight or job worries create a negative self-image and if the plans fail to materialise, that could trigger feelings of failure and inadequacy. Rather they advocate thinking positively about the year to come and what you can achieve.

The tradition of New Year's Resolutions goes all the way back to 153 B.C.. Janus, a mythical king of early Rome was placed at the head of the calendar. With two faces, Janus could look back on past events and forward to the future. Janus became the ancient symbol for resolutions and many Romans looked for forgiveness from their enemies and also exchanged gifts before the beginning of each year.

According to one website the most popular resolutions are:

1. Spend More Time with Family & Friends
2. Fit in Fitness
3. Tame the Bulge
4. Quit Smoking
5. Enjoy Life More
6. Quit Drinking
7. Get Out of Debt
8. Learn Something New
9. Help Others
10. Get Organized

For those following a learning journey, we should all recognise that this is not something we should do just at new year and certainly not during a moment of madness fuelled by champagne or sambuca! Rather our goals need to be considered carefully and reviewed regularly to be effective. With that in mind here is a list of Do’s and Don’ts of goal setting:

Do Visualise your desired outcome. (What will success look like)
Don't Start with a defeatist attitude
Do Write down your course of action in an easy step-by-step format that can be checked off with each accomplishment
Don't Try to memorise all of the steps as most will be forgotten
Do Think positive all the time
Don't Let yourself be overcome with the negatives or set backs
Do Surround yourself in motivating factors and keep them in easy to spot locations
Don't Forget the reason you set your goal in the first place
Do Set your plan of action as soon as you know what you want and start right away
Don't Put off beginning your course of action
Do Be realistic in your setting your goals
Don't Set your goals too high to achieve them
Do Be specific in the goals you choose
Don't Set goals that are too vague
Do Learn to be organised in your thinking patterns
Don't Let anything stand in the way of achieving your goals
Do Make an effort to keep track of all of your achievements
Don't Downplay your achievements, you are keeping yourself motivated
Do Share your achievements with those around you
Don't Let yourself get off track, stay focused on your goals!

Best Regards,
Steve

Positive Feedback - What a Great Message

2008-12-15T16:28:00.003Z

Had just posted my comments about receiving difficult feedback positively, when I was pointed to this by a colleague, Dr John Kenworthy - thanks, John.

Just watch this - it is quite long - 15 minutes, but great story and you can all work out the message for yourself! You can get the gist in the first 5 minutes, but if you are like me, you will have to watch it right through!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao

Steve

Shoes, Pizzas, and Well Aimed Feedback!

2008-12-15T14:46:00.003Z

In the week that President Bush had shoes thrown at him by an Iraqi journalist and a delivery man was saved by a pizza, I was prompted to reflect on the learning potential of feedback.

To explain, George Bush had shoes thrown at him in Baghdad, although he was agile enough to avoid both missiles. He then showed presence of mind and even statesmanship by defending the man's right to protest in a free society and pointing out to journalists that his assailant had succeeded in getting people talking about his protest.

The other story relates to how a Florida pizza delivery man was challenged by armed robbers in the city of Miramar, but got in first with his own weapon - a large pepperoni pizza. Eric Lopez Devictoria, flung the piping hot pizza at the gunman, then turned on his heels and ran, making a safe getaway, despite one shot being fired as he fled. Police later arrested three teenage suspects, who have been charged with armed robbery.

I came across these two stories as I was thinking about how some people still cower in their comfort zones, avoiding risk and change. If you want to develop, you need to step out of your areas of competence and confidence, and challenge your fears.
Children have few fears and often explore the world with wild abandon. As they mature they are taught and learn to respect and even fear experiencing some life situations and activities. While this is useful learning in some potentially dangerous situations, they can develop the unfortunate idea that to try anything new and failing is embarrassing and uncomfortable and should be avoided.

This learned fear of failure can become stronger as we grow older and severely limit our development. One way of learning is to invite, contemplate and act on feedback. If we don't ask for it, or worse still ignore it or even punish the giver, we lose that learning channel. As leaders we need to encourage feedback, even if delivered in awkward or rude ways. A mature learner will filter out the insult and listen to the kernel of truth in what has been said. In the same way that George Bush ducked the shoes, but respected the journalist's right to criticise him!

Remember that feedback is not the absolute truth, but someone else's perception.
To accept feedback constructively you need to:

LISTEN - and ask for clarification if necessary
DON'T ARGUE
DON'T DEFEND
REFLECT
ACCEPT IT OR REJECT IT - whichever you choose, try to identify the learning.

And finally, this week's bizarre fact - Please keep all raisins away from your dog... they are extremely toxic to dogs and can be deadly! (I never knew that!)

Staff want more responsibility but Managers don’t trust them

2008-12-07T12:55:00.004Z

Nearly half (43%) of employees would like more responsibility in their current role, but a fifth of managers do not trust their staff to deliver.

According to research of 2,452 employees by YouGov for Investors in People, 43% of managers think staff would be concerned about the extra workload of more responsibility but only 8% of employees thought it would have a negative impact on their performance and only 4% felt it would make them less motivated.
In fact if staff were not given more responsibility 59% say they would become demotivated and 58% would be frustrated.But 53% of staff have never asked their manager for more responsibility and 29% do not think there is an opportunity for them - with 15% believing their manager to be too controlling.Simon Jones, chief executive of Investors in People, said: "By taking everything on themselves, managers can leave almost two-thirds of their people feeling demotivated and two-fifths could end up looking for a new job. In other words, giving employees the right level of responsibility is vital to driving the productivity of organisations through their people."

This headline, which may come as a surprise to some, strongly reflects the opinions I often hear on management programmes. Whether this is fear of being let down, a fear of letting go, or fear of somebody doing a better job than them, this a familiar theme. Managers need to learn to delegate more and one of the keys to effective and confident delegation is learning to trust. Leaders may be slow to trust, but need to learn that leaders lead - and that often means being the first to do something and this is certainly true of showing trust! If you want trust, be trustworthy and trusting. Richard Branson has said that if you have high expectations of your people, they will live up to them.

Why Conflict Can Be Useful

2008-12-01T12:50:00.004Z

When talking about barriers to effective teamwork, one issue that is often raised is conflict. Many of us dislike and avoid conflict, but of course a complete lack of conflict can be an even bigger problem for teams with people reluctant to rock the boat, not daring to think differently and so falling into the "groupthink" trap.

A recent article in the Financial Times addresses the issue thus:

The Challenge of Straight Talking
By Stefan Stern
Lawyers, bankers, accountants and consultants are all after the same thing. No, not cash. That goes without saying. What they dream about is achieving a special status with their clients: that of the Trusted Adviser.
It is lonely at the top, people say. You cannot count on colleagues to give you the unvarnished truth. Professional services firms can make good that shortfall in trust, and give you the brutal facts when others are unwilling or unable to do so.
Some bosses claim to have created a slightly less lonely environment for themselves. Jamie Dimon, chief executive of JPMorgan Chase, has met business leaders who say that they have done just that. “They tell you that you’ve always got to have at least one close colleague who will tell you the truth,” Mr Dimon said at the Harvard Business School centennial conference last week. “Well, if you’ve only got one guy in 10 who will tell you the truth you should fire the other nine!”
Mr Dimon is right. There should be zero tolerance for mealy-mouthed, flannelling, equivocating co-workers. And yet the evidence suggests that there is not enough straight talk at work. Fearing disruptive conflict and bust-ups, we muddle through, bite our tongues, zip the lip.
Robert McHenry, chief executive of OPP, the Oxford-based business psychology consultancy, says that some organisations may be suppressing conflicts that should in fact be allowed to burst out.
“Clients sometimes tell us that their biggest problem is the lack of conflict in their organisations,” he says. “They say that autocratic senior leaders create a culture where people prefer to ‘keep their head down’ and not offer feedback or ideas; the anticipation of conflict inhibits performance.”
This does not mean there never are rows at work – far from it. In fact, conflicts are usually messier because they have not been brought to the surface soon enough. Indeed, we should probably brace ourselves for more not less conflict at work as the world slides into recession. “Der Dalles schlägt sich,” as they used to say in Vienna. “Those who are struggling beat each other up.”
OPP recently surveyed 5,000 employees in Europe and America to discover their attitudes to (and experience of) conflict at work. They found that, on average, each employee spends 2.1 hours a week – roughly one day a month – dealing with conflict in some way.
Managers struggle with this. Some receive training in the kind of communication and mediation skills that can help defuse tension. Others – 7 per cent, according to OPP – turn in desperation to the last resort of the 21st-century manager, the internet.
It’s not all bad news. According to another piece of new (and ongoing) research, a burst of internal aggro might offer the chance to improve your company’s fortunes. Early findings point to the vital role of successfully managed conflict in the development of effective corporate strategy.
In their work with international businesses, the London-based consultancy Cognosis has found that managers can be a little bit daunted by the concept of “challenge”. But those who manage conflict will win greater engagement from their staff and much more “buy-in” as far as strategy is concerned.
How can you use disagreement to your advantage? Conflict should be managed formally rather than in an ad hoc way, Cognosis has found. You don’t want to encourage “water-cooler whingeing”, or a complete free-for-all where barrack-room lawyers with the loudest voices dominate.
In open corporate cultures employees feel able to challenge senior managers. Indeed, their critical views will be actively and regularly sought. “One of the defining characteristics of strategically effective leaders is their commitment to challenge, and their ability to both challenge others and be challenged themselves in a positive and constructive way,” says Richard Brown, managing partner at Cognosis.
On the flight home from a recent trip to the US, I explored at length the musical entertainment options that my carrier had kindly provided. After some uplifting Bach and some satisfying Beatles, I have to admit that my finger hovered momentarily over – I am not proud about this – the “Easy Listening” channel. Reader, I pressed that button. But after one glorious burst of Petula Clark’s timeless “Downtown” –
When you’re alone
And life is making you lonely
You can always go downtown
– I realised that this channel had nothing else to offer me.
And then it struck me. I had made exactly the same mistake Mr Dimon had warned against a day or two earlier. I had opted for Easy Listening, when I should have stuck with the robust truthfulness of Lennon and McCartney or the challenging polyphonics of JS Bach. Tiredness was no excuse. The soft option was all wrong.
In the difficult months ahead managers are going to have to lead by example, and not flinch from conflict. “In bygone days,” the British politician Jo Grimond once said, “commanders were taught that when in doubt, they should march their troops towards the sound of gunfire.” Tin hats on, everyone. By the left, quick, march.

Business Jargon now called "Buffling"

2008-11-29T12:29:00.002Z

All those jargon terms that we love to hate are now being referred to as buffling. An interesting article about the most hated ones appeared in today's press, with few surprises. I have to admit I do use some of these and wonder if the survey spoke to the wrong people. Most of these terms are, in my view quite reasonable in the right context and with the right audience.

Like any jargon or abbreviations, they can be useful common language as long as everybody understands them. However beware of using to impress or baffle....

What Type (MBTI) is Barrack Obama

2008-11-27T15:07:00.003Z

I have been fascinated by debates on American websites to answer this question. I have not heard enough from him to be sure myself, but the thoughts of the respondents may provide some useful tips and insights for your own type-watching and predicting.

If you don't know much about MBTI and Type, read the brief explanations on my website.

What's Obama's Type?
A selection of responses:
Ø I'll start off by saying that I think he's a big NT. I've really appreciated his 'big picture' orientation and the logical approach he seems to bring to his decision-making.

Ø Recent email newsletters I have received from venture to guess he's an INFP. Their guess for John McCain was ESTP. Before seeing this newsletter my own guess for Obama was ENFP and my guess for McCain was ISTJ. For whatever its worth since we don't have much unguarded information: Obama has a clear preference for N.
As one who is an attorney, has consulted with the profession for some 25 years, and studied the (very clear) legal profession data, the odds are very strong that he prefers T. One really has to start with that assumption until proven wrong. [Editor of the Law Review at Harvard would tend to confirm NT, though could not rule out NF.] He shows very few signs of preferring E, though not enough data to be really sure...too much focus, unlike Clinton who obviously strongly prefers E). Have not read his books which almost surely would settle the issues---so have to be reserved about my thoughts without that fairly comprehensive source of information. [My wife who has been a practicing trial attorney for more than 30 years and an INTP (very close to the middle on T/F) says he is most likely INTP and perhaps close on J.] ENFP almost surely not. An INTP with good training in community organizing, political advocacy and trial work often appear on the surface to be INFP, but he appears too cool and analytical for an F preference, even compensating for the effect of a preference for I (which often confuses the surface appearance). Again, his books would probably settle the T/F question quite easily. Finally, we have seen people confuse an NT who is a strong advocate for particular values with an NF because of the way some of the MBTI literature misinterprets the nature and role of empathy, sympathy, etc. and subjective valuing (especially negative valuing).

Ø I don't think we can guess (unless his books reveal) his I/E preference. He has to extravert often, and excels at it, but he may prefer taking it all in. N seems fairly clear, T seems almost as clear. So NT Temp is likely. Guess is J although the other comments make P possible.
I would agree with all those that said his type included the NT. I think he's ENTP or INTP. He clearly prefers Introverted Thinking which would lead to the P at the end of the type code. He's very intentional and deliberate about what he says and at times you can see him thinking. I think the campaign would have been very difficult to maintain if he wasn't extroverted. He has a natural charisma and engagement with others. I think he's close in the I/E preference however.

Ø I think that Barack Obama is an ENFP. He gets his energy from people. He uses his intuition and focuses on future possibilities. He cares about how other people feel and listens to both sides when making a decision. The NF makes him an idealist/inspirer. Finally, he admitted that his desk is very disorganized. John McCain and George W. Bush are probably ESTP’s.

Ø I too would go for definite N, with probable T and a Perceiving preference also. With the strong N that would push me toward E giving his Dominant function as Extraverted Intuition. My own type is ENFP but with tough-minded and methodical clusters from T and J and I often get confused for an ENTP (by MBTI professionals). He doesn't need to be NF to be an idealist. He clearly has strong values from his upbringing and I think people misinterpret this as NF. So...ENTP

Ø I know of an INFP who entered Law because of wanting to work in ethics and human rights... far from typical of the profession, but he felt it was worth the 'pain' for what he wanted to achieve. Obama comes across as strongly idealistic to me, with a well developed T as well. Americans often seem Extravert to the British as they are taught from childhood to express themselves, but Obama comes across to me as very self-contained and self-controlled as one would expect from an I. Something drives every politician... Obama “seems” more driven by his ideals or a vision for humanity than by a desire for power or need to be right, and also seems very natural at working with other people in a consensus manner. So I'm opting for INFP (or maybe INFJ) with a well-developed use of T as the 3rd or 4th function.

Hmmm - I am leaning towards agreeing with the last prediction, INFP. What do you think?

Steve (ENFP)

Train Your Way out of Recession

2008-11-27T10:53:00.003Z

Well I would say that wouldn't I? Of course - I am in this business because I believe in the value of developing people, but in these hard times a lot of organisations are cutting back on training and it is encouraging that articles like this appear to fuel the debate and hopefully encourage people to think carefully before making potentially counter productive cutbacks.

The full article can be accessed by clicking on the blog title, but highlights follow:

Investing in your staff will improve productivity and save you money

Britain’s employers are being urged to “grow their own” after researchers at Cranfield School of Management discovered that investing in training not only saves money but is more effective than shopping around for talent.

The report, Nurturing Talent, is the first to compare the impact of recruiting externally with that of developing employees. Three quarters of the 1,189 companies involved in the study felt that training their own staff was more beneficial to their business than recruiting people from outside.
Half the companies discovered that training staff made them more likely to stay. One-third found it increased staff motivation, and almost half actually saved money in the process.

Much of this may be obvious, but useful to have some hard facts to go with the strong feelings!

Poor Managers Bad For Your Heart!

2008-11-27T07:23:00.003Z

The latest thing to blame your boss for - now Swedish researchers are claiming that poor management, or more specifically leadership increases the risk of serious heart disease and heart attacks among employees. How long before we see the first lawsuit?

Health and Safety, Stress, Performance, and Productivity are all areas that have been part of a manager's responsibility for some time. Some managers will throw their hands up in despair that they now have to look after the health of their workers, but the better ones will know this has always been the case implicitly, if not explicitly. Stress is a good example of how awareness has increased in recent years and most leaders now realise that they need to understand its causes, symptoms and how to reduce it - for themselves and their teams. Unfortunately a large part of this increased awareness is due to the ever more litigous society we live in, not because managers have become more sensitive!

General health is just an extension of this - healthy workers are more productive and motivated, so we should be concerned about it. There is a business case as well as a humanistic one. There are many ways we can help people to be more healthy and wise. We can bring in life coaches, personal trainers and work-place massage therapists, all of whom are becoming more common in many organisations. Or we can learn to be better leaders and role models ourselves.

As with so much of leadership, this starts with how you manage yourself. As my old school motto put it - "Mens Sana in Corpore Sano" or a healthy mind in a healthy body. Look after yourself and then look after others. Or as Stephen Covey puts it in the "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" - "Sharpen Your Saw".....

Living and Learning and Leading.

2008-11-25T11:30:00.003Z

Hello, I am Steve Goodwill, founder and Managing Director of Goodwill Training. I formed my training company in 1989 and incorporated in 2004. We design and deliver learning and development events to help people to become more effective, confident, liberated, and motivated so that they can contribute more to the organisations they serve.

A key aspect of our training is the title of this blog - "Learning Through Experience". Training can be, and I believe should be enjoyable and memorable, but the key is applying the learning in our lives. On our programmes we use a lot of experiential activities to make this happen - but we encourage participants to consider, analyse and learn from all of their experiences, not just those on the programme.

There is an old saying that "We live and learn." If only this was true! Too often we fail to recognise the lessons or apply them to our lives. We try to address this on our events, but recognise that only the individual can do that, all we can do is try to show and model the way.

It has often been said that you cannot manage others until you can manage yourself. This is just as true for Leadership. While not wanting to debate here the difference between Managing and Leading, I am trying to make a point about learning. An update of that old saying might be:

"We Live and Learn and Lead."

.... but only if we work at it consciously and deliberately.